On the phone all day with people who don’t want to rent to me and Mar, even if they act like they might want to.
Monthly Archives: December 2014
Riverdale Book Review
Lots of seasonal shopping humor in the latest issue of Archie’s Funhouse Comics Digest, the still-newish all-purpose Archie anthology book that comes out nearly monthly and is already 10 issues old. Opening story has Reggie giving the same expensive gift to five female classmates, who, in Betty’s words, look “like they’re going to be giving Reggie his lumps” when they discover he meant to give them cheap knock-offs instead of the real thing. They’re mad, see, because his INTENTIONS were dishonorable, even though he actually did give them the pricey versions by accident. It’s the thought that counts. In the reprint “The Dirty Dozen,” Veronica falls asleep under a heat lamp after watching a hysterical TV commercial for Eetdirt cleaning products, and dreams that Christmas is being replaced by Brand X items of equal value. There are numerous other commercialization-of-Christmas tales in the digest, plus some basic old Archie adventures with no seasonal theme whatever, like “Footloose,” in which Archie goes to a school dance in mismatched shoes—one platform and one loafer. Those non-timebound stories may be the greatest gift of all.
Rock Gods #303: Adventures in Our Little Music Scene
We all thought it was good-natured mockery, but it turns out that Jake 10-Ant, the new wave working-class savior of local yore, really did have a chip on his shoulder when it came to higher education.
Jake’s tune “Professor Pits” was released 20 years ago this month. It became an anthem for the 100-watt radio station at the college on the hill, especially around exam time. Jake’s opinion of this success was unknown. His was a one-man-band hermit-with-a-bedroom-four-track operation. He played every instrument on his records and never played out as 10-Ant.
Later on, Jake got social (under his real surname, Tennant) and joined the No One Heres, ultimately taking the band over as a vehicle for his own songs.
So when the class-of-20-years-ago at the college on the hill was planning its reunion party earlier this year, they realized there was a chance to hire Jake and hear their precious “Professor Pits” live at the shindig.
They called and offered real money. Jake said no. Jake said he’d never appreciated the irony of the song getting played on college radio. Said it was a slam on all academia. Wished the students had gotten the message, dropped out, and made a difference.
(We deliver this version of the conversation second-hand. Jake was unavailable for comment due to a recent death in the family.)
College grads can get lofty and superior-sounding when they deal with School of Hard Knocks rabble such as Jake 10-Ant. They blustered and bullied and otherwise insisted. When he continually declined their increasingly less gracious offer, they went to the remaining members of the No One Heres and asked them to do it instead. The band’s guitartist Rick Renkrack (ne Wankrackowicz) took the money and agreed to play the gig, only because he hadn’t been told of Jake’s refusal. When he went to round up the rest of the band and learned the truth, he was stuck. The college reunionizers had anticipated this and drawn up a nasty contract. Jake was immovable, implacable in his convictions.
So how’d the show go? Like a college textbook with a chapter missing. Jake actually played, under a hat and sunglasses, with the No One Heres—on nearly every song. When it came time for “Professor Pits,” the band bowed their heads and put down their instruments. A button was pushed and the original recording of “Professor Pits,” replete with old college-radio tape-pod ID-check intro, blared over the PA. There was a lone complaint from one of the event’s overbearing organizers. Everyone else gave high marks to the maneuver, and took part in a particularly embarassing collegiate conga dance.
Tonight: Heated Hot Hotter at the Bullfinch. Candles will apparently be utitlized for a light show… A.O. Smith & The Naviens at Hamilton’s… An Evening with Bradford White (who of course is nothing without his guitarist Core Noritz) at D’ollaire’s…
Gonna Songs
Told you yesterday I was gonna do this. All musicians owe a major debt to whoever first thought of collapsing the common phrase “I am going to” into a simple sharp duosyllabic utterance.
1. Operation Ivy, “Gonna Find You.” Not to be confused with Joe Jonas’ “Gotta Find You,” from Camp Rock.
2. “Camptown Races,” Stephen Foster. Because “gwine” is just another form of “gonna.”
3. “A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna Fall,” Bob Dylan.
4. Glen Campbell, “I’m Not Gonna Miss You.” This was Campbell’s swansong, released this past October but originally recorded in Jan. 2013 shortly before Campbell retired due to his continuing issues with Alzheimer’s.
5. “You’re Gonna Miss Me,” Roky Erickson and the Third Floor Elevators, one of the nuggetiest tracks on the influential Nuggets compilation.
6. “Are You Gonna Go My Way,” Lenny Kravitz. He’s still going “gonna,” in his new record “Stand,” where he keeps saying “Are you gonna run again?”
7. “Cups,” Lulu and the Lampshades. Aka “The Cup Song” performed by Anna Kendrick in the movie Pitch Perfect. It contains the classic blues refrain “You’re gonna miss me when I’m gone.”
8. “Never Gonna Dance,” Fred Astaire. From the Fred & Ginger opus Swing Time.Post-Ramon
9. “Gonna Wanna Tonight,” Chase Rice. This country tune, released this past summer, sets some kind of record for slang contractions.
10. “A Change is Gonna Come,” Sam Cooke. One of the all-time finest pop protest anthems is a gonna song.
11. “You’re Going to Lose That Girl,” The Beatles. Technically it’s titled “You’re Going to Lose That Girl,” but that’s not how they sing it. Other fab “gonnas”: “Nothing’s gonna change our world” from Across the Universe, “They’re gonna crucify me” from “The Ballad of John & Yoko” and “I’m Gonna Sit Right Down and Cry.”
12. “Dem Bones Gonna Rise Again.” Greatest gonna song of all time. Incorporates life, death and knowing things.
13. Taylor Swift, “Shake It Off.” “It’s like I got this music in my mind, saying it’s gonna be all right, ’cause the players gonna play, play, play and the haters gonna hate, hate, hate. Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake it off.”
14. Laurie Berkner, “I’m Gonna Catch You.” A kiddie-song classic. During her live sets, Berkner is actually chased about the stage by other band members.
15. “Mail Myself to You,” Woody Guthrie. “I’m gonna wrap myself in paper, I’m gonna daub myself with glue, stick some stamps on top of my head; I’m gonna mail myself to you.”
16. Shocking Blue, “Gonna Sing Me a Song.” The lesser hit by the Netherlands band responsible for “Venus.”
17. The Fantasticks Original Cast Soundtrack, “Soon It’s Gonna Rain.” Not a lot of “gonna” show tunes out there.
18. The Proclaimers “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles).”
19. Anne Johannsen, “Baby, I’m Gonna Leave You.” Famously covered by Led Zeppelin.
20. Buddy Holly, “I’m Gonna Love You Too.” Covered by Blondie.
21. Joe Turner, “Flip Flop & Fly.” “When I get the blues, gonna get me a rockin’ chair.” Revived in the ‘70s by the Blues Brothers.
22. The Go-Go’s, “I’m Gonna Spend My Christmas With a Dalek.” Not the ‘70s New Wave Californian Go-Go’s. This is a ‘60s British act of that name, featuring the childlike lead vocals of Sue Smith.
23. Ray Parker Jr., “Ghostbusters.” Who is that you are going to call? Steve Wynn’s wondrous band Dream Syndicate made live hay of this song on a 1984 world tour; seven varied versions of Dream Syndicate jamming on the tune can be found at the Dangerous Minds site here: http://dangerousminds.net/comments/sevens_cover_versions_of_ghostbusters_from_the_dream_syndicates_1984_tour
24. The Ramones, “It’s Gonna Be All Right.” The other Ramones “gonna” song is “You’re Gonna Kill That Girl.” This one’s more optimistic. Post-Ramones, bassist C.J. Ramone did a solo number called “What We Gonna Do Now.”
25. Small Faces, “Whatcha Gonna Do About It.” Infamously covered by The Sex Pistols on The Great Rock ’n’ Roll Swindle soundtrack. Neither Faces nor Pistols correctly enunciate “What are you going to do about it?”
26. The Shangri-Las, “Give Him a Great Big Kiss.” “I’m gonna walk right up to him…” or her, in the case of the New York Dolls cover.
27. “Gonna Buy Me a Dog,” The Monkees. From the first Monkees album, in 1966. Peppered with ridiculous vaudeville jokes. Micky misses a cue because he’s giggling and vamping.
28. “Kansas City.” The legendary Lieber & Stoller songwriting duo crafted this R&B staple which relies on both “gonna” and “going to” in its lyrics. The singer is “going to” Kansas City, but he’s “gonna” get him a crazy way of lovin’ (or a crazy little woman), plus he’s gonna be standing on the corner of 12th Street and Vine.
29. “God’s Gonna Cut You Down.” Folk standard covered by everyone from Odetta to The Blind Boys of Alabama to Moby.
30. “Gonna Gonna Go!,” Rainbow. Aka “Gana Gana Go!” That’s the South Korean girl group Rainbow, not the Ritchie Blackmore band Rainbow. Blackmore’s “gonna” song would be his cover of Gene Vincent’s “Gonna Catch Me a Rat.”
Daily Music Review
Cookies, “Music for Touching.” If Carole King were born in a garage rather than in the Brill Building, she’d be belting this peppily impatient love song. What in lacks in melody, it makes up for with power chords and keyboard oomph.
For Tomorrow We May Die: Diary of a College Chum #252
Mar’s family is taking me in for the holidays.
Riverdale Book Review
Archie and the gang have an ongoing relationship with things magical and supernatural. Sabrina, sure, and the zombie book. But also, every Christmas, manifestations of a real, live Santa Claus and his devoted elf Jingles.
Lesser known in the Archie Christmas universe is Sugar Plum, a female fairy who hangs around with Betty & Veronica. She helps trim Veronica’s massive Christmas tree, “straight from the forests of Norway,” in Betty and Veronica Double Digest #217 (December 2013). That same digest features a Sabrina story, “When Cows Fly,” featuring still more elves, plus some Santa-assisting sorcery so that reindeers (and cows, and whales) can fly.
Rock Gods #302: Adventures in Our Little Music Scene
Cool new pop act Quiescent Frozen Confections popped up unexpectedly during a set by cofounding bassist/ vocalist Trish DeLish and did two tunes: the catchy “Pop One” and the even catchier “Pop Two.”
An hour later, giddy with glee from how well the hit-and-run gig had gone, QFC tried to get lightning to strike twice by interrupting headliners Sour Patch. Something did strike, and they got burned.
Sour Patch drummer Kent Cantiglionessi erupted, beating back the interlopers with incessant booms and crashes while singer Chimmy Accione chided the all-woman band with remarks that many took to be sexist and offensive. Accione apologized later in the set, but not in a manner which struck onlookers as sincere. Afterwards, he simply said, “Dude, don’t even pretend you’d do different.”
Trish is sheepish about the dis. “We should’ve quit while we were ahead,” she avers. “Like, two or three vodka tonics ahead. We felt strong, and we got knocked back down to size. It’s what happens in bars a lot. It just doesn’t happen to bands on the stage.”
Quiescent Frozen Confection’ s remorse has stalled their long awaited full set debut. It has, strangely, gotten them a couple offers to crash other bands’ sets. “One was a joke, we think. But the other’s for real.” If you DON’T want a QFC incursion during your band’s set, you might want to notify the bouncers.
Tonight: The Pop Sickles and The Sore Bays at the Bullfinch… The Bertollis, Italian family reunion bash (open to the public) at Hamilton’s. Lots of wedding-type covers… An Evening with Lemoncello at D’ollaires, with nary an original member of that once-tart, now jaded-by-fleeting-fame outfit…
Songs to Stand to
We got our Christmas tree. Finally had to retire our decades-old metal stand, due to rust. Found a plastic stand at a tag sale. Aired it out outside in the rain. It appeared not to leak. Then we got the tree, thrust it in the stand, did all the screwy and wiggly things one does, and poured water into it. Seems like I poured into the wrong hole. In any case, the floor was all wet and an investigation of the waterholding properties of the stand is underway.
Found myself humming REM while messing with this stand, in the place where I live.
1. “Stand!,” Sly and the Family Stone. (Exclamatory mark is part of the title.) Greil Marcus writes poetically of Sly and the Family Stone in his classic tome Mystery Train. A cover version of this “Stand,” by the Red Hot Chili Peppers closed the great independent-spirit flick Pump Up the Volume.
2. “Stand,” REM. Though the video’s really more about jumping. “The season is calling,” it says. Hence the Christmas tree stand.
3. “Stand by Me,” Ben E. King.
4. “Not Afraid,” Eminem. “Not afraid to take a stand,” that is.
5. “Stand,” Donnie McClurkin, a God song by a popular gospel singer.
6. “Who’s Gonna Stand Up,” Neil Young. Released just this past September. “Who’s gonna stand up and save the earth? Who’s gonna say that she’s had enough?” (I really should do a list of “gonna” songs one of these days.)
7. The Stand, Original Television Soundtrack, W.G. Snuffy Walden. Out-of-print album of music by the ubiquitous TV-show composer, who was expressly summoned by Stephen King to do the score for this creepy plague miniseries. (Walden currently scores King’s Under the Dome series.)
8. “Stand,” Lenny Kravitz. “You’re gonna run again.” (I really should do a list of “gonna” songs one of these days.) From the Black and White America album, 2011.
9. “Get Up, Stand Up.” This 1973 composition, part of the first wave of reggae consciousness in the U.S., was apparently the last song ever performed live by its co-author, Bob Marley, on tour in Pittsburgh in 1980.
10. “Stand and Deliver,” Adam Ant. In their new book Mad World—An Oral History of New Wave Artists and Songs That Defiined the 1980s, Lori Majewski and Jonathan Bernstein argue that Adam Ant’s “theatricality, and the sense of community in his calls-to-arms struck a massive chord.”
11. “Stand With Hillary,” country song produced by the Stand With Hillary PAC for the former First Lady/Senator/Secretary of State’s presumably impending 2016 White House run. “Learnin’ hindsights always right.” Shoulda used Lenny Kravitz’s “Stand” instead (“You’re gonna run again.”)
12. Rascal Flatts. More stand country, with a literary tilt: “Life’s like a novel with the end ripped out.”
13. “Stand By Your Man,” Tammy Wynette. The ultimate country stand.
14.“Stand in the Rain,” Nightcore.
15. “I Can’t Stand the Rain,” Ann Peebles.
16. “Stand by You.” The song Chrissie Hynde regretted recording, until she was told by some other sell-out ‘80s star how it touched people.
17. Oasis, “Stand by Me.” “Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday…”
18. One Direction, “Stand up.” “Oh oh oh oh, so put your hands up. Oh oh oh oh, ‘cause it’s a stand up.”
19. Willie Alexander, “Taxi Stand Diane.” 1984 EP by the Boston music scene legend.
20. “Loo, loo, loo, loo, looloo loolooooooo.” Otherwise known as “Hark the Herald Angels Sing,” sung wordlessly by those who’d just recently called Charlie Brown a blockhead, when they have second thoughts about a sincere little Christmas tree he purchases in the A Charlie Brown Christmas. Linus Van Pelt’s blanket warms the Christmas tree stand. “All it needed was a little love.”
Bonus tracks: Brylanehome Musical Rotating Christmas Tree Stand. $21.99 from amazon.com. “Plays 8 holiday songs as it spins, to display a 350 degree view of your artificial tree.”
Scribblers Music Review
Steve Adamyk Band, Dial Tone.
The Steve Adamyk Band is a punk band from Ottowa, and that Canadian part is significant. They sound as if they’ve learned punk from their fathers’ record collections. They play classic Ramones/Buzzcocks-speed punk. There are a few harmonies and chant-alongs and abrupt chord changes, but all within the realm of straight-ahead no-nonsense mainstream punk rock. They are very good at assimilating this now decades-old style. The production style on this album even sounds old-school, like the way traditional studios would clean up raw punk sounds for public consumption. Something honest and rough occasionally sneaks through this good-natured cleanly delivered Canadian punk, though however happily I can listen to this album over and over, it refuses to captivate me with any original thoughts. This may be the band you’d want on tour to get the crowd moving for a more distinctive headlining act. They are standard-bearers, even if the standards they bear are original tunes that sound remarkably derivative. Really trying to mix my admiration for The Steve Adamyk Band’s remarkable grasp of early ‘80s punk sounds with the fact that I find the songs themselves unmemorable. Great background music for headbanging while typing, however.