That beatific guitar-playing grin. We all know what it means. Sure, it looks happy enough, but it’s such a resolutely fixed expression that it can’t possibly be sincere. If you do something to try to change it—make a joke, make up new lyrics and chant them loudly, smear make-up directly on that insipidly smiling face—it only grins more broadly.

Depending on whether you’re a friend, a fan, or the bartender who’s in charge of making sure the set ends before closing time, that face can mean:

1.     Don’t talk to me while I’m playing. No, really, don’t talk to me. By smiling, I’m pretending you’re not here.

2.     Don’t look at my face. Look at my hands. That’s where the action is. I could be doing all manner of wild expressions with my face for you, but I’d just be playacting. I do not have a large repertoire of facial tics; that’s why I get to wear sunglasses on stage. Hands is where it’s at.

3.     I am not getting off this stage until this solo is over.

(And of course drugs don’t enter into it at all.)

In some societies, this somewhat anti-social behavior is known as “being in the zone.” But who oversees these zones, sets their boundaries, monitors their use, issues their parking passes? We happily volunteer for the chairmanship of such a zoning committee. There are abuses that we feel it is our civic duty to correct.

Other sites to behold: Wanco, Eagle Fence and The Traffic Lane Closures all showed up to a gig last weekend at the Dwight (which you might know better as That Old Elementary School with the pig graffiti) and nearly backed into a ditch. Nobody’d told ’em ’bout the broken water pipe and subsequent upheaval on the street. The pipe’s been sealed and reburied, the club has running water again (this might be a good time to clean the bathrooms, guys) and the gig has been graciously rescheduled for next month…

In further vehicular obstacle news, management planted one of those upside-down trees in the parking garage in the dance club district. It lasted three days before a partygoer jumped atop a van and brought the whole thing pounding down. No hospitalizations, unless you count a trip to the tree doctor… On Demand, Roku Box and Nearest Shipping Facility all play at the Finch Thursday. It’s a video release party; yes, you read that right….