Five Worst Store Names on the Upper Level of Westfield Connecticut Post Mall

  1. Lettitful. A name with apparently no meaning, unless it’s simply “full of letti.”
  2. Cacique. A name so obtuse it needs a line underneath it to tell you how to pronounce it. It is a Spanish word for “keeping house,” which is applied to both chefs and political leaders. Cacique the store sells lingerie. The mind boggles.
  3. Dollar-N-Things. They have a dollar. They have things. We need more.
  4. Diva Kidz. A limited marketing demographic, pre-adolescent opera singers.
  5. Buy Buy Baby. Whatever era in which you find the phrase “by, bye baby”—from the jazz-age ‘20s, ‘50s Shirelles or Four Seasons, ‘60s Janis Joplin, ‘70s Bay City Rollers or ‘80s Madonna—it signifies the kiss-off of a lousy relationship. It does not convey security and comfort. And “buy buy” is a little Big Brother, isn’t it?—and we don’t mean the elder siblings of the literal babies this shop is targeting.

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