The Mellons are pounding a new, extremely old, model of music making, and to do so they’ve decided to change their name to the patronized. That’s because they’re seeking patrons. They will write you into a song if required.
“Can’t be worse than playing where they sell beer,” reason head Mellon Andy Williams, who already has the sort of name you can take to the bank. “I got the idea from my art history class. Some major works of art wouldn’t have happened if they hadn’t been commissioned. And I often have trouble finishing things, so….”
Any takers? There’s an application process and the likelihood of sit-down negotiations. Then, depending on what level of sponsorship you can afford, your

We remember a conceptual piece along these lines at the Art School of the college on the hill a few years back. “I’m not saying this has never been tried before,” Andy “Your Name Here” Williams says, “but I think most of those other times it’s been, like, ironic. This isn’t an art joke. I think it might work. I write good songs. I think they’re worth something, and I’m willing to negotiate with the right patron.”
Or is he just trying this because his parents want him to quit music and go into advertising?

John and Eunice Jet’s classic soul revue at Dollaire’s tonight, with desirogers, Johnson Rice, Rolle, Merry Weather, Aiesha Askew and DeNard—or various forms thereof: you debate whether Aiesha is better doing Merry Weather harmonies or with her solo disco hits. The same seven-piece band backs all the acts…