The band knows him as “glasses guy,” their pet nickname for him. But who’s petting who? They giggle about his interest in them, and don’t understand the relevance of the articles and recordings he’s continually loaning them for their “elucidation.” Yes, that’s how he talks.
The band is the all-female teen “skunk’ combo The Candy Christians. Peter Whiffle, associate Professor of Cultural Studies at the college on the hill, has been studying them for a paper he hopes to present at an international conference on what he calls “rock linguistics.” He picked them for analysis when he heard their cupid song “The Blind-Bow-Boy’ over the college radio waves. But sassy friends of the band say Professor Whiffle has also been dogging Tattooed Countess for no apparent academic elucidation, that he probably just has a thing for black hennaed hair, and that he’s kind of creepy.
We’ll clarify that The Candy Christians themselves have no kick against the prof. If they did, they’d surely spit at him during shows, as they done to members of Spiderboy who gave them an, ahem, improper introduction when the bands played back-to-back at the Bullfinch a few weeks back.
This story bears more research. Next Candy Christians gig is three weeks hence, which coincidentally will be college vacation week. You never know how these weird hook-ups will work out, anyhow. Maybe a few years from now “Blind-Bow-Boy” will be part of a bestselling $100 humanities textbook. All bands crave that sort of notoriety, no?

Very little happening tonight, despite all the love in the air. Except dance parties. Let’s not forget dance parties! Wait, we were struck by something sharp and pointy there for a second. Of course we should forget dance parties. We should banish them altogether to the sunken depths of the netherworld. It’s their fleet-footed fault that the only live show of note tonight is The Floyd Dells, Briary Bush and Moon Calf at the Bullfinch. Thank the god of Love for the Bullfinch…