Excerpt from what we would have said had we been invited to speak at the Old Town Hall Meeting Room on Thursday for that “informational meeting” convened to settle the question of whether to permit rock music in the OTH auditorium.
Invited speakers who spoke included a busybody from the Board of Ed, an annoying alderperson or two and somebody who worked for the mayor (who was too bored to attend himself).
Our opening statement:
“Ladies—and oh, we see a couple of gentlemen in the back. Thank goodness for the gentlemen!
“We are here to represent rock & roll as a subject of serious merit, a topic so fraught and serious and sober that it be allowed to be seen on the hallowed stage of Old Town Hall. This is, after all, the same rarified venue where that kid played accordion that time. When such refined entertainments as polka bands, square dance hoedowns and capoeira classes transpired. Careful consideration must indeed be given. We know this because we ourself must practice due diligence in making the same treacherous topic suitable for readers of indiscriminate ages in a public newspaper every week.
Let’s break this brouhaha down.
The noise: Have loud bands ever played the hall? We saw a symphony here once, and it featured tubas and a gong. Most rock bands do not have either a tuba or a gong. If they have instruments as loud as a tuba or a gong, you can usually turn the volume down, unlike you can with a tuba or a gong.
The performers: We happen to know many rock performers. To us, they are not an abstract concept. They are a community. We know many of the specific musicians who are likely to want to play book shows here. Some are young and have unorthodox ideas, granted. But if they want to play in this city they must turn into some semblance of a sensible businessperson. There are currently only two clubs within their reach—The Bullfinch and Hamilton’s—plus a third which, to local bands, is like the castle on the hill: D’Aulaire’s. They need and want a new place to play, and will behave. The non-rock acts playing the Old Town Hall already tend to be much more demanding than young rock acts are likely to be.
Nevertheless, as you’ve gathered, these bands represent an extremely popular, ubiquitous artform. It is ludicrous, bordering on reprehensible, that at this late time, half a century after establishing itself as the major force in popular music, there should still be auditoria off-limits to it.
The audiences: Large, demonstrating their favorite musical form’s immense popularity. Excitable and passionate. Drunken, but only if you choose to let them drink on the premises. If you go that route, and it’s a profitable one, we’d suggest you set rules in the parking lot as well. In terms of boisterousness, overall, it will slight less rowdy than one of the Bingo Nites or Rotary Club Awards held here.
Oh, we’ve exceeded our allotted nanosecond? Well, fuck art, let’s dance.

Here’s where they do have bands, no waiting:
Chris Topsomo, T. S. Ourecki and Pitta combine for an early folk happy hour at the Bullfinch Wednesday. Pitta’s bringing her autoharp… Jule Kage, Kolach, Lusse (the final name change, they swear, for the embattled Lucy) and the Limpas (featuring members of Beer & Port) at Hamilton’s… Knacker and Catch Poorly rawk Dollaire’s…