Don’t Think Just Play is part post-modern rock theory, part jam session and part party game. Shaggy Fur Face, frontman of Today’s Revolution in Weather, came up with the gimmick, which was that anyone who took themselves too seriously during the jam would get slapped by a judge and have to leave the stage immediately. The criteria was thus:
• No closing your eyes and “feeling the vibe.”
• No looking away, turning your back to the audience or otherwise “zoning out.”
• No making faces while you solo.
• No calling out changes to other bands like you know what you’re doing better than they do.
• No turtlenecks, black slacks (unless they’re denim) or neckties.
• No doing anything that takes you away from the band or the fans.

There were a few more rules than that, but you get the idea. With all these signposts in place, this was a thoroughly enjoyable show. The crowd felt involved: they wanted to call out the conceited players as much as the judges (Q, X-Max from Olympus, and—naturally—us) did.

The slap-unhappiest player of the lot was our fair-weather friend Sonny Blitt, who—when slapped down for looking askance—didn’t go gently, but grabbed the mic and ad-libbed a petulant rap. He later claimed that he was just trying to “liven up” a show that was getting “bogged down by rules.” But nobody could have sensed sameness in the stream of players attempting to become the people’s favorite player.
In the end, no one winner emerged. The judges realized that anyone who played too long was guilty of something that hadn’t been codified in the manifesto. So we disqualified everyone. Good thing we weren’t part of the Don’t Think Just Play pack; with our attitude, we wouldn’t have lasted a note.
Shaggy F.F. is rewriting the rules and hopes to have a second round within a few weeks—as soon as he finds three new judges.

The Dead Game Sportsmen and Water on Brain at the Bullfinch… Bottle Fatigue and Hanging Way Over at Hamilton’s… Relations in Strange Locations and VIP Mistakes at D’ollaires, though you can catch the Relations for free at Capitol Park upstate earlier in the day…