Billy coffee wants to be a pop star so he can live his dream—of owning a chain of coffee shops.
“All I need is one hit record,” he explains. “I would know exactly how to invest that money,” says the idealistic caffeinator. It sounds like a chemical high, but Billy (who’s not to be confused with Jimmy Bean, another local barista with pop star dreams) has it all mapped out. Coffeeshops figure in every step of the process.
“You record live at the shop during open mics,” he proposes, “or after hours, when it’s quiet. You sell the music through a network of shops.
“And you drink lattes while listening.”
The sticking point (besides the spilled sugar on the countertops) is finding music which will enthrall the average coffeeshop patron. “No problem,” Billy says. “It’s world jazz. World jazz is like Columbian beans—the great common denominator.”
Asked to name three worthwhile world jazz acts in our area that he can exploit, Billy pauses… then offers us a cup of coffee on the house.

Strangely quiet out there tonight. A no-name open mic at the Bullfinch, a private party at Hamilton’s and—whoa!—great thundering metal rampage at D’Ollaire’s with Edmontosaurus, Monoclonius and Chasmo…