The gerbils ran the running wheel right off the side of the cage Sunday night. The wheel fell entrance-down, the runner trapped within. Her sister escaped and frightened Kathleen and Mabel, who were engaged in homework in the next. They didn’t jump on chairs or anything, but they did think “rat” instead of “pet gerbil” and were understandably unnerved.

I trapped the gerbil under a tambourine, which is something I really ought to do for Halloween, because it’s really creepy to see a jangling tambourine scuttle slowly around the floor.

There was actually an indie band called The Gerbils, a lo-fi pop trio from Athens. This is not that.