From the current, Christmas-spirited issue of World of Archie Double Digest (#12, Jan. 2012). You know how this is going to end—the Riverdale students’ outlandish solutions to real-life education crises give Betty fodder for her Drama Club sketch, and inspire mirth, mockery, meditation and ultimately admiration from the school administrators.
Appropriately, my copy has gotten borscht stains on it. Jughead’s proposal that the school foregoes the expense of lunch service and just let the students dig into the boiling pots on the cafeteria stove has a Borscht Belt insanity to it.