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1. “Free” from A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. About half the songs from the stage musical didn’t make it into Richard Lester’s film version, but this is the most maddening omission. Zero Mostel says the word, then seems about to sing it, but the scene quick-cuts to something else entirely. Could it be that Richard Lester, like great comedy director George S. Kaufman before him, just didn’t like musicals? He seemed to be able to make room for Beatles songs in Hard Day’s Night and Help.
2. “My Blanket and Me” from You’ re a Good Man, Charlie Brown. The animated TV version of the musical is only an hour long, and tends to go for the ensemble tunes (like “Glee Club Rehearsal,” a number which didn’t even make the original Off Broadway soundtrack album). But I can’t help wondering what might have been done with this wonderful Linus solo. It has the same dramatic usefulness as Hysterium’s “I’m Calm” from A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum”—which of course was cut from Forum’s film version.
3. “The Madison”, aka “The Madison Time” from Hairspray. The only song from John Water’s original 1988 Hairspray film to make it into the 2002 Broadway musical adaptation. In the Waters film it’s a record by the Philadephia-based Ray Bryant combo. Bryant just died this past June.
4.”The Long Grift” from Hedwig and the Angry Inch. “Look what you’ve done, you gigolo…” The only song in the stage show sung by a member of the backing band rather than Hedwig herself or her sideman Ytzhak, it provides a perfectfully timed respite and fresh perspective mid-show. It’s my favorite song in a show full of great rock songs, and I was devastated when only a few notes of it are heard in the movie. It was especially galling because the film was adapted and directed and scored by the same duo who’d devised the original, John Cameron Mitchell and Stephen Trask. I was able to ask Trask (who sang it in the original Jane St. Theater production) about it, and he had several explanations for why “The Long Grift” wouldn’t work on screen. It’s true that the film has many more voices and characters in it than the stage version, so the thrill of a new one is gone. But, really, what a beautiful song.
5. “Coffee Break” from How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. No, it doesn’t further the plot, and it could apply to any musical about any office ever. But they weren’t doing musicals about offices in the 1950s and ‘60s, and this song really set the scene for the entire enterprise. It’s kind of an Act One coffee break in itself, a chance to enjoy the already frenetic pace with a little caffeine boost. It’s a crucial number in a show where even the love duets are shouty and frazzled; what drug are these people on? Coffee.